Get your ow
n diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

03-26-04 - 10:02 a.m.

Bastardized by Birth; McDonaldized by the Grace of Satan.
I went to Whataburger today for breakfast and I was about to order the taquitos like always, but then I thought maybe I should be adventurous and try something else.

So, of course, I want to see if they have the thing that I usually get at McDonald's when I go there to get a nutritious breakfast: An Egg McMuffin. That's all swell and fine, but what I thought next scared the bejeezus out of me.

I thought to myself, "Maybe I should ask them if they have Egg McMuffins."

This may not mean much to you, but I work at Chick-fil-A and I get a bit more than irked when people come in there asking for "McNuggets" without batting an eyelash. One extremely intelligent individual even asked for "nuggets" and then immediately corrected herself by saying, "McNuggets."

I hate people.

Anyway, I am now officially McDonaldized, if even in my thoughts, and I don't even eat there that often. I shamefully ordered my taquitos like always, thinking that even if they did have something resembling an Egg McMuffin, I didn't deserve it.

McDonald's, I shake my fist at you and mumble curse words under my breath.

Vegas is the Shit Fo' Sho'.
Just a quick blurb about my trip to Vegas over Spring Break in the form of a list of FAQ that I received from people in my classes.

Q: Did you lose your ass?
A: Nope; it's as big as ever. Heh heh... But really, I didn't lose my ass. I didn't spend one penny of my own money. Colt's dad's wife gave us each fifty bucks to gamble with. (Two twenty-five dollar chips.) At first I was very scared to gamble, and I even considered just cashing in the two chips and leaving Vegas fifty bucks richer, but I was coerced into playing Black Jack. It was just our family at the table, so it wasn't intimidating and kind of inviting.

Needless to say, I about passed out. Gambling is way too much for my nerves to handle. I was almost hyperventilating every time the dealer laid cards down, and my hands were clammy the whole time, when they're usually dry.

It was worth it, however, because I have a little thing I like to call, "Beginner's Luck," and I turned fifty bucks into three hundred in a matter of two hours. I gambled/spent two hundred of it and I went home with one hundred dollars.

I was paid a hundred bucks to go to Vegas by the casinos themselves. Fabulous.

Alas, I'll probably never gamble again for fear of heart failure.

Q: Did you go see the lights on the strip at night?
A: Lights? They have lights in Vegas? And what's this "strip" you speak of? Man, how did I miss that stuff?

Yes, you twit, I saw the lights on the strip at night. They were very purdy. I recommend seeing them, even though you've probably seen them on television. In fact, that's what I thought to myself when I saw most of the stuff there: "Hey! I saw that on television!" Sad but true.

Q: Did you see shows?
A: I saw the only show that matters: Cirque du Soleil. It rocked my face off six ways from Sunday. My mouth was agape the entire time, and afterward I tried to mentally recall everything that I saw because I had a feeling I'd never see anything that cool again. Ever.

If you go to Vegas, I suggest you fall hopelessly in love with a dashingly handsome geek who will buy tickets to Cirque du Soleil for you for Valentine's Day. (I love you, babe!)

Q: Was it fun?
A: Yes, I actually got asked this several times. Yes, it was fun. It was possibly the most fun I've ever had during a break from school, because I typically spend my breaks working my ass off.

That's that. Las Vegas is uber-cool.

Check Yo' Draw's.
Jamie (my roommate) informed me the other day that all underwear, if worn normally, contains an average of a tenth of a gram of feces. Yum.

I Googled it (more on that later) and discovered this article which briefly (no pun intended) states that "Each pair of underpants destined for the washing machine contains about one-tenth of a gram of bacteria-carrying feces, which, by weight, is about one-quarter of a Southwest Airlines peanut." Again, yum.

If you read the article, there's a million other things to gross you out. I don't know if they're true or not - it isn't good to believe everything you read - but regardless, they made me cringe.

A Google Factoid.
But first, a dork factoid: only dorks use the word "factoid."

Many people use the word "Google" as a verb, like I did somewhere up there. Google doesn't want this derived verb to be entered in the Oxford English Dictionary because if a company's title or any brand name is actually a word in the dictionary, they can't trademark it.

This explains why most brand names aren't actual words, and if they are, they're creatively spelled.

Riveting, I know, but as a budding Linguist, I find it fascinating.

The End.
The Sneeze has some kick ass articles right now. The trucker hat one and the new installment of "Steve, Don't Eat It!" are hilarious. (So are the other "Steve, Don't Eat It!" volumes, by the way.)

I've enjoyed my break from DiaryLand in the pursuit of the perfect yarns and patterns to knit. I've been knitting non-stop and I've gotten much faster and better.

TTFN and until next time - I. Hate. People.

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!