11-21-03 - 1:05 p.m.
Okay, here's the poop:
A spider lives in my car. In the middle of the Summer, I noticed a spider in my car, and, while it made me a bit uneasy, I just tried to ignore it, figuring it would go on its merry way. Well, the other day, I sat in my car, and felt the strings of a spider web. I thought, "Ew..." and tried to push it out of my mind.
I don't really know the life span of the average arachnid, so I have no clue if this is the same spider as the one from the Summer, or if this is one of his cousins. If this is his kin, then I would like to learn Spidey-Speak, and ask him why his family has decided to invade my car, since I am afraid of spiders because of an "incident" in High School. Let's just say that shit in Arachophobia is no joke, and spiders will not think twice to web your weak ass up - they don't care that you're a billion times bigger. Watch the hell out. Especially if one lives in your car. I would suggest apologizing out loud to the spider if you damage its web; that's what I do.
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In a completely unrelated story, I have developed a secret habit lately. I know I have been ignoring my instant messages, and leaving conversations in the middle of the ones I do not ignore. Sometimes I don't even get up to answer the phone. I have been staying up until 2am for many nights, and I have an 8 o'clock class every day. All of this nonsense is due to my newfound addiction.
I can't stop working my new jigsaw puzzle. Colt bought me a puzzle for our one-year. If you look at that picture of it, you'll see that it is very beautiful, but the picture does not do justice to its gigantic size.
The puzzle is roughly two feet by six feet, and it is on the floor of my dorm room which is roughly twelve feet by fifteen feet, which means that the puzzle takes up about 6.5% of our floor. Doesn't seem like a lot, but we have beds, and desks, and chairs, and a fridge, and a sink also taking up floor space. Luckily, my roommate is as much of a dork as I am, and she enjoys doing the puzzle with me. We just step over it very carefully. I'll keep updates on the status of completion of the puzzle, as if I thought you cared. Right now the "skeleton" of the puzzle (the perimeter, and all of the brown lines separating the eight panels) is almost done.
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Okay, this next story is not for the weak-stomached folks, so beware. It's about poop.
There is a lady who comes into Chick-fil-A (where I work) whom the employees lovingly label "The Poop Lady."
I didn't know why until Wednesday night, when someone kindly explained it to me. Apparently, this lady "makes a mess" in the bathroom when she comes in. She is quite overweight, and I guess she "has some trouble" with "going to the bathroom" and "keeping it all in the toilet." I know, I know, it's gross - but it's true, so don't shoot the messenger.
Here is her modus operandi:
She walkes in the door, goes to the potty, poos all over the damn place, then proceeds to walk to the register, order her family some food, and tell the employee that someone has "made a mess" in the bathroom. We know damn good and well it's her, we have eye witnesses - this has been going on for some time now, and everytime she comes in it's like a hush falls on the employees. Will she shit everywhere? Will it be a false alarm? (She doesn't do it every single time.) Who will clean it up? Exactly.
By the way, the actions of The Poop Lady should not affect anyone's decision to go and eat Chick-fil-A. It is a wonderful place to eat, and I think you should all eat there. May I recommend the chicken?
Until next time - New York, London, Paris, Munich, everybody talk about pop music.
